Re-Posted from the Indonesian Version :
Here We Go..!
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I write this article for all you guys out there. I am sure you are a clever guy. And handsome, too, for sure.
I am also sure you have once or more in your life dated girl(s). I could care less if you failed or succeeded in your love experience. I write this to remind you all the small things you guys used to forget along your journey into a real man.
I want to share a tragic story on my friend. He loved his girlfriend with all his heart and soul. Or that was what I thought. Since in the end, his girlfriend dumped him.
He loved his girlfriend truly, madly, deeply. Every time and anywhere she wanted to go, he was all set to escort her. Whatever worldly she ever wanted, he would definitely deliver them to her. He chose to watch Transformers II over Ketika Cinta Bertasbih (KCB), simply because she wanted to watch that Bay stupid movie, though he had already bought tickets for KCB. He surprised her a lot (well, at least he thought so) by bringing her flowers once in few days, when he visited her at home.
He joined such “guy days” as futsal and billiard no more since all his time and world revolved round his girlfriend. Instead, he sat like a sweet duck, in… YES! A beauty shop! Waiting for his girlfriend got her hair done and giggled with her friends. He in fact—for Heaven’s sake—told me that he wanted to marry that biatch! And he wanted her to be a fulltime housewife, with all that jazz! He loved her to death, if I may say so.
Instead of “saving” him from a lifetime misery, I said to him, “You are indeed a good person. Good luck (in marrying her)!”. Oh yes, I was that evil.
But life had its own way to save him. Few weeks after, he came to me and said that he had just got dumped. What the…? How on earth…? That “queen” of him, out of the blue, dumped him? How could she? What had he done wrong?!
You know what? Here are why:
A Woman Needs a Leader
Look at your boss, your manager, a band vocalist, an OSIS head, a car club head, a business owner, or even a gang boss in campus. Those people are leaders in their own groups (or communities). They are surrounded by chicks, aren’t they? Even if they claim themselves as gays, more and more women will come to them.
It is simply because women need leadership. They compete for being “the best one you can have”. Oh yes, they compete each other! And they love it when it heats up, since they will grab more attention, and more women race for the same catch. It is in their nature. Women need to be led, to be shown the right path. And clearly, it is a huge pride for them if they can date “the one”. How many times have you heard your female friends told you, ‘My boyfriend owns this company…’?
A leader is a decision maker. He has goals and plans. He has many things to do, targets and OBVIOUSLY will not follow his girl days and nights in the name of “love”, because his time is worthy more for the groups or activities he leads.
A Woman Needs No Dispenser
If you cannot lead a relationship and instead leave all decisions into your girlfriend’s hands, be prepared, in no time you will be squeezed till you have none left. Over-indulging her is good. But doing so all the time will make her thinks that you are a dispenser to be sucked every time.
Ask any woman, does she want to date a dispenser? HELL NO!
A dispenser is to be sucked out till there is no water left inside. When it runs out of water, you have to replace it with the new, full one.
A Woman Needs Self-Actualization
A smart woman does not need over-indulgence. She needs self-actualization even more. In my friend’s case, being forced to be a fulltime housewife was a nightmare for his girlfriend (who was in fact a working woman). No wonder he got dumped!
The trick is actually simple. Give your chick a job, a couple of orders that you think she can handle on her own, a responsibility for her to take.
Let her go to office by herself. Let her shop with her friends. Let her be active in her favorite organization. Let her cosplay if she likes it. Let her dream her own future. Let her define her own life. Who the hell are you… dare enough to limit her activities? Even her parents must have wanted to see her succeed and actualize herself well, right? Otherwise, she would not have gotten so high of education, right? Never limit her creativity. Let them express it outside. It is better than if she expresses it upon you!
A Woman Needs Attention
Women basically use their intuition to act. As long as men do not set a limitative perimeter, they will act on their own, based on their free will. And often, these intuitive acts seem wrong, and simply make them look like idiots. Well, to your own standard at least. If you mind with whatever she does, say it! There are at least two ways to do it: bull-shit and frontal.
For example… When you see your chick wearing something too sexy for casual occasion… It may be a fun thing for you as her boyfriend, but it may be otherwise for other people.
Tell her, “You look so sexy wearing those. I like it. But I don’t want you get sunburn. It will be better if you wear long-sleeve shirt.”
Frontal Way (a bit harsh, but often understood better by women):
Tell her, “Don’t you think those clothes will make you freeze to death? Change with a better one, for Christ’s sake!”
Choose the way you think is best for you and your girl. If she is a bit slow, use the frontal way. The ability to argue without having a go at it hammer and tongs shows your leadership. It is one way a leader do to watch an aspect. Give her your advice and argument, but never quarrel with her! She will respect you even more.
Being over-indulged is like being fed with the first class food every day. First day, it feels awesome. Third day, she gets bored. Seventh day, she feels like having enough of it. Eighth day, she would go for burger instead.
When a relationship is boring enough, there is no other cure than transferring your love to another. Find new experience. Find new variation. It may be too harsh for you, but it is as it is. Who wouldn’t get bored if she has a genie in the lamp, ready to fulfill her every wish all the time?!
A “boring relationship” can give you a hard time, just like my friend had. That filthy rich, good looking friend of mine, got dumped over a campus jerk who was hated by all teachers and could only hang out with his pathetic friends.
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